it was a disturbing rate scene. I really can’t wrap my head around how did things turn out like this? It just feels so disgusting and the storyline feels so near the home. It's disgusting. I really having a hard time to read It everything remind of me my ex I need to get a life and stop reading this disturbing things, but I can't control myself and I don't know how to fix it. I definitely need a therapy, but I don't know how to do it with the knowledge of that life don't have any meaning and whatever I do would not change it. I tried to do something for myself and boom, then I realize life has no meaning and everything I do feel meanness. I get excited five seconds, and after that the only thing I can think about how meanness this feeling and how meanness everything is just so nothing burger I eat a lot of this and a lot of that I feel like a trash bag flu around the tornado, which is still don't have any meaning on top of everything. I am so skinny I can see my bones and you know what some people don't like it. Everybody tell me that how skinny I am and how bad it is for me when I already know it, but I also know that life has no meaning so why the f*k I should eat when I don't like to eat something and I don't have anorexia you guys I just don't like eating because it is mean to eat something. I'm constantly hungry but I don't have appetite and why should I eat anyway I already feel ugly. You would not change anything. Everybody said it will change everything but I don't think it would change anything maybe if I was more like a normal human being I wouldn't get this freak around me. I don't like people. I guess I like being alone, but I can't and I already did something that I don't want to do it and most of my life go like this I don't want to do something, but I always feel like I have to do it because of people around me especially my best friend and I don't think she like me. I feel like a burden into her