@Dusk wood Mobile 4:42 am in 3 days

my family is very good but after COVID-19 I don't know how my father became so aggressive that I had to shout at him to protect my pride in my family's eyes in the end I was wrong by this whole conversation.
this makes my mind feel more discrimination from others. birthdays are celebrated to make a person special that they have come to earth and make everybody feel great about their existence but on 19 Aug, my family hasn't celebrated it since 2018 I don't care anymore and as the eldest sibling of my bro, I always get judged for my looks, intelligence(marks) from my brother especially from my relatives. which is also something I didn't care about until his teenager life he also started shouting and using abusing language first I thought it okay for a teenager he would grow over it until twice he tried to kill me with a knife and put a pillow since then I don't want to share something like this to anyone but you feels different.
and my father always says to me that I should have died back my mom was giving birth to me and never existed and I always cause trouble to them. I am studying harder every day (but never able to score above average)so, that by 18 years old I can live my life peacefully and be independent is my main goal now, and in my free time I sometimes read mangas, watch anime, or read some novels instead and y looking like that guy I feel like something in him is which I am feeling some connection of. most of the time I got trolled for my facial expression as I don't smile much but I don't care about this anymore.
after 2 years my hardships are gonna increase, I hope I find a good job as early as possible and never get a chance to look at my family again so, that they can feel happy again about my non - existence.

i hope my family and you always be in peace.

@Da Tenshi oh my g** 
does this happen in real life
I am sorry for being harsh which I don't want to
I don't know how I connect the twin bro with me 
and put my anger on you 
for which I am extremely sorry about
also, I am sorry that you have suffered like that in your whole life
I pray that you live well all your life and have every happiness that you deserve to be