@Cat_Chicken I don't know but for me this phrase ''why did he...'' wasn't meant to say 'why did he do that' but more like 'why did he smile so brightly, why did he let me hope, for redemption or forgiveness or love'. He knows da** well what he did to the kid bus I think he couldn't help but hope to get out of the violence and the person he became, the kid was the incarnation of that hope and it died when he tried to end both their lives. But that's just my interpretation, you can think what you want
Joke's on you I'm into that sh** !