@Aqiila From experience, id honestly say try your best to back away from this because it affects you alot more than you would think, you percive stuff differently from what actually happens. as someone who started getting into this sh** when I was around that age was just horrible for me and i started getting paranoid and very hyper about this stuff, but during that time aswell, id read different mangas/books,stuff without stuff in it. please get your mind off it and try to look for stuff around your age gap. It might prove to be difficult but for yourself please do it!!! :) 
they/he - nonbinary - bisexual
https://mangabuddy.com/manga-list/163215
^^ (my fav mangas!!)