Yaoi-lover-de. It's not about you being gay or not. Same-s** love is normal and okay and if you happen to feel that way. It's not really a problem. The problem here is that you're 11 and you're reading +18 stories. You can go and read shounen yaoi but you should really avoid manhwas you're not old enough to read, some topics are just too harsh, even for adults. Like killing stalking? Are you kidding me? I'm close to being 30 and some scenes gave me nightmares.