This is traumatizing because this is also happened to me. I was raped
I was about 14 years old at that time and the fact that as a man also being raped by another man, made me feel disgusteded by myself
I was defenseless at that time and I'm skinny, compared to the man who raped me is around 35+ and 3x bigger than me
Also, the man who raped me. still, lose free.
(I read Bl as a man but that doesn't mean I like to be raped by another man)
I pretend to be fine while being raped because I know if I try to fight and screen for sure he'd kill me on the spot and leave the crime at the scene (because in my country the casing of raping and murder are rising)
(also I beg and cry to that man not to touch me, but his grip on my mouth and neck is strong at some point I can even breathe)
i am doing fine now and my recovery is a bit hard since i feel like my mom doesnt care about it