Comment by CuriousReader on Lifeless

Comment on ReplyLifeless

You don't need to forget or bury your feelings. Trying to forget something your heart doesn't want to could actually strengthen your longing or desire as “-“ shared.

Instead, you can try 3 things:

1. Compile a list of attributes you would like your partner to have. Having a checklist of things a person has can help you figure out if someone you are interested in is worth being open to having a relationship or even being proactive about it. Don't just focus on physical aspects like height or appearance, but what kind of personality, hobbies or educational background would be compatible with you. This will also help you if you encounter alarms (aka red flags). Successful [long-term] relationships aren't just about happiness, but also fulfilling what people need from their partner

2. Work on other goals you have for yourself: As you work on making goals come true, you will feel good about yourself. Along the way, you'll likely meet other people who appreciate and respect you for you and perhaps something might spark.

3. Give yourself opportunities to meet and get familiar with others: Sometimes people who we think are someone who checks all the boxes at first glance turn out not to be. That's why it is important to get acquianted with quirks and behaviors others have in different situations. Dating is certainly one way to explore, but it's by no means the only way, and it's actually not ideal because more often than not, folks in a new dating relationship try to show off their best side (or put on a show) until you get used to each other. Activities that allow for interaction or getting someone out of their comfort zone can be telling of someone's natural behaviors (which is what you really need to know for the long-term)