@Agna Herondale wow i don't know what to tell you honestly... a year is a lot and tbh for what i'm reading here (you can disagree with me bc i don't really know your situation and whole context but this is my outsider pov) he's kind of pissing me off for belittling your feelings that way and trying to make you believe you're crazy and that your feeling aren't real. Also the whole "i'm not good for you, you can find someone better" while being overly conscious of you liking him... tells me he's kind of an attention seeker and he's kind of using you to make himself feel better by proving and showing off how he's right and you're wrong. it's not your fault that you have feelings for him, that you wish for him to return them and of course you're going to feel very bad bc of how he's treating you but try to keep in mind that what other people think and say to you, how they act towards you doesn't necessarily reflect reality, him ignoring you and your feelings doesn't mean you or your feelings cease to exist or are less important... i hope you can let go of him though, everyone deserves happiness and peace but you gotta put effort into it and you can achieve it, i have no doubts about it! you also seem to be on your way to be ready to do so, grief can take a lot of time but maybe one day you'll remember him and think about the good memories you share and how much you like him on a positive light and think of it as an opportunity to learn about something. i learned from my ex how important it is to communicate, listening and speaking up, empathy and putting limits bc i experienced how it feels to feel ignored and insulted. i wish you the best and that everything works for the better for you. sorry for any mistakes, i'm not a native english speaker and once again you can disagree with me, you know what's best for you after all 🙂↕️🫶 best luck
