It's been a while since I opened up something like this publicly, it's just... It feels so nice cause there's a side in the internet that I love now while I'm currently in the roughest part in real life. Idk I may sound over- exaggerated but honestly I love that this part in the internet is existing, like it was my escape. I have already wrote my ideal gl manhwa years ago and now I'm planning to draw it and hoping I'll be able to do it cause I'm really desperate to finish it off right away...everytime I wake up, all I can think about is dying and believing that there was a reincarnation so I can paint my death to be called bittersweet atleast thinking that I'll be reincarnated as a successful and happy human being. I honestly gaved up in everything, I really have no hope, I'm just escaping nowadays (what they call dissociative reality)... although I'm aware that consequences of my actions are destroying my future, I'm still doing it anyway cause what kind of choice do I have when I am desperate of what they call 'freedom and joyous life', all of these bad habits are my only happiness so far... I have been trying to change that kind of view in my life for ages but nothing have changed... I still want to die... I'm so tired even I can honestly tell that there were beautiful things in life , I cannot reach them anyway.
(Sorry I'm just ranting here out of nowhere hihi pardon to someone that i might have bothered)