Comment by MonsterUnderYourBed on The Perfect Way to Break Up - Chapter 5

@MonsterUnderYourBed

This type of situation is extremely annoying and recurrent in relationships. It's a fine line between trying to make your partner an ideal figure and simply ensuring your relationship meets basic criteria so you can stay connected to it.

It's not right to start from a few cases and generalize, but I believe that relationships where people manage to stay together under these conditions are extremely rare. You are usually meet with a "that's just how I am" and that's it.

This also stems from the current "fast food" dating logic, where people don't stay with someone for very long precisely because of the need for investment. There are already many worries simply about existing and surviving, and people (younger people mostly) are being more affected by the awareness of this than ever before.

The "careless" person needs emotional responsibility and a lot of love to be able to adapt. It goes beyond the barriers of simple communication, because you try to mold your worries and emotional needs.
It becomes tiring, and you have to sustain this...

Sometimes it's not just about the "sloppy" person, but who they're with. Some people change from the moment they start dating someone else – frustrating.

But still, this doesn't just reflect a potentially greater interest in the current partner; it may reflect learning from past dating, simply showing that maintaining a relationship under these conditions, as I said, is extremely difficult unless you are aligned from the start (as in starting a new relationship instead of maintaining).