This is gonna be long. This chapter kinda clicked with me with whats going in this story lmao
So from what we understand:
Jarn's past life: He was neglected by his mother, felt unloved, lonely, and unwanted. He went missing for years and was with Fenrir. His body got older but his mind is still like a child bc he was in that "dark water" for years and probably didn't see himself/his own reflection. Jarn meets pastlife scarred Duke Ordin. Become intimate (forcefully 😒) but then Jarn sees it as affection. Also bc the scarred duke is taking care of him. From the previous chapters, scarred Duke ends up becoming obsessed with Jarn and puts that collar on him. Jarn is realizing how wrong their relationship is and is feeling disgusted with both himself and scarred duke(?). Speculation: Something must've to endanger Jarn that Fenrir created a new timeline.