Self sabotage. This web comic is so heartbreaking because I've done the same (on a much different level). It's just so painful because you know what you've done and you can't fix it because you think you'll break it again so you just watch someone else fix it while staying in the past. Like a dark cold corner when they mention what you did. I still hate myself for it. Sorry for the vent lol
Ahhhhh
