No you don't... He manipulated you to feel this way... You don't love him he's just idolized in your head because he's been helping you with your trauma for his own benifeit and twisted desires. You deserve better!!

Best Manhwa to exist, a list:
• Misson: Save the Hunter
• Delayed My Death Because Of a Will
• Death Delayed For A Short Time Because Of The Will<
• Misson: Save the Hunter
• Delayed My Death Because Of a Will
• Death Delayed For A Short Time Because Of The Will<