@Im Traumatised What happened to me? Honestly… I started asking myself the same thing a while back. I used to wear that “crazy” label like it was a badge of honor — the loudest, the wildest, the one who didn’t care what anyone thought. I thought being reckless meant being free, that losing control was the same thing as living fully. But truth is, I was just running — from myself, from the silence, from the things I didn’t understand or didn’t want to face.
There came a point where the noise stopped feeling like fun. The nights got quieter, and the laughter started sounding empty. I’d look around and realize everyone was moving on — finding purpose, peace, direction — and I was still stuck chasing a feeling that never lasted. That’s when I knew something had to change.
So, I started digging. Not into parties or people or distractions — but into me. It wasn’t pretty. It’s weird when you realize you’ve built a whole identity around chaos just to avoid looking at what’s underneath it. I had to unlearn a lot — the idea that being calm means being boring, that being alone means being lonely, that slowing down means giving up. I had to let myself feel again, even when it hurt.
And over time, I found pieces of myself I didn’t even know were missing. I learned that peace doesn’t mean nothing happens — it means you finally stop letting everything outside of you control what’s inside. I started caring more about real things — growth, love, meaning — and less about how loud I could laugh or how far I could push the edge.
So yeah, maybe I’m not the “craziest” anymore. Maybe I’m quieter. Maybe I think before I act. But don’t mistake that for losing myself. If anything, I’ve finally found who I was always meant to be. The difference is, now I don’t need the chaos to feel alive — I just need to be me.
Nah I just had exams for uni. thats all
There came a point where the noise stopped feeling like fun. The nights got quieter, and the laughter started sounding empty. I’d look around and realize everyone was moving on — finding purpose, peace, direction — and I was still stuck chasing a feeling that never lasted. That’s when I knew something had to change.
So, I started digging. Not into parties or people or distractions — but into me. It wasn’t pretty. It’s weird when you realize you’ve built a whole identity around chaos just to avoid looking at what’s underneath it. I had to unlearn a lot — the idea that being calm means being boring, that being alone means being lonely, that slowing down means giving up. I had to let myself feel again, even when it hurt.
And over time, I found pieces of myself I didn’t even know were missing. I learned that peace doesn’t mean nothing happens — it means you finally stop letting everything outside of you control what’s inside. I started caring more about real things — growth, love, meaning — and less about how loud I could laugh or how far I could push the edge.
So yeah, maybe I’m not the “craziest” anymore. Maybe I’m quieter. Maybe I think before I act. But don’t mistake that for losing myself. If anything, I’ve finally found who I was always meant to be. The difference is, now I don’t need the chaos to feel alive — I just need to be me.
Nah I just had exams for uni. thats all
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize
I used to resent love movies/ media.
Still do mostly except manga.
its fuc**** peak