@1 That's what I felt when pandemic started one cause might be because of loneliness try to find yourself and find the right people in your life and your choices won't be the same. I'm not really good with advices but no matter what happens don't ever think of ending everything. Life isn't always about sunshines and rainbows there's always storms and bad things that come along it so don't worry everything will not be as bad as it seems after you find yourself. Tbh just don't give up.
My bl list (complete/on going)
https://mangabuddy.com/manga-list/75374