Comment by Omniscient Reader on My Deepest Secret - Chapter 71

@Omniscient Reader

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Are you referring to Emma?
If so, she he isn't an abuser. Not at all. The girl is mentally ill & sick due to all the abuse and isolation she endured. This isn't about Emma being an abuser, she is a traumatized woman.
Also, abuse is always a choice.. an abused person who chooses to abuse makes a choice to do so. She is not an abuser, she is mentally ill and never had help.

@veronica  ah that she is. But I meant similarity not the exact thing. And yes there's always a choice but people still end up making the wrong choice because they don't know exactly how to do the right thing as they never experienced it themselves. They may try ofcourse but sometimes it's complicated 

@Omniscient Reader
Yeah, I see your pov, but Emma just has a really distorted view of life since she had been hypervigilant and in a constant survival mode ever since she was a young girl due to her father's severe abuse.
I simply say that cuz I can relate to Emma since I experience her problems of dissociation -- not to her point, but it is true that social isolation f*s up problems even more up.
Even if it's difficult, abuse is always a choice so whatever excuse someone throws is always bullshit haha.
Emma is ill meanwhile example her father took advantage and was abusive due to his own insecurity of being left by her mother. Trust me, abusers always choose. Emma's stepfather chose to try and do incest sexual abuse. It's really not a matter of not knowing how to be.
That quote I guess is supposed to mirror something "lost" as a person transitions from "victim" to "abuser, but imo it isn't true at all. It's a simple choice not to do a power imbalance relationship. Unfortunately, too many do it!
It's true that it is a cycle, but it's always up to the person to choose if they will break it and respect the other person or choose to abuse. And when they do choose to abuse, it's a choice made. 

@veronica I completely agree with your points too gng years of that kind of thing ruins social skills and even your whole point of views get a bit distorted while you don't even understand that you're being different because that was the normal for you and people who never gone through that don't understand you fully