Yeah I think that's the whole point the mc is ultimatly a coward, he is a man who is at constant panic with hismself and with the guilt he had made. Plus imagine if your in his house you spent over 100,000 years driving yourself insane for a sin of cowardence, the whole reason why this thing happended was because of the Mc cowardly self desstrucitve ways.
And the mc has everywhere to be tired, when you constantly isolate and torture yourself, you forget why things you do actually matter. He just got out of that isolation ..