Comment by Jesus himself on Checkmate (TAN) - Chapter 60

Old man I hope your pillow is warm on both sides. You stub your pinky toe on everything. Get stuck at a red light every day to work. Get stuck walking behind a slow walker when your running late. The middle of your food is cold when you microwave it. Everytime you try to sneeze you just never end up doing so. Having the feeling of something in your eye 24/7. A small rock in your shoes everytime you walk. I hope whenever a long ad pops up you never get the option to skip it. When you feel an itch you never reach it. Old man I hope you always have the feeling of hair in your mouth. Everytime you touch paper it cuts you. I hope the cuffs of your sleeves get wet whenever you wash your hands.  I hope you step on a Lego brick. I hope you realize you've run out of toilet paper only after you go. I hope the water runs cold in the middle of a shower. I hope you step in sh** wearing your favourite pair of shoes. Everytime you watch a video it buffers every 5 minutes. I hope you step in water with socks on. I hope you spill coffee on yourself every morning. And everytime you where socks they slowly slip down your heel when your wearing shoes. I hope whenever you get comfy in bed you suddenly need to pee. I hope your phone dies just before you go to plug it in. And whenever you go to eat food it spills everywhere. And whenever you buy underwear it's a few sizes too small. Old man I hope you burn your fingers whenever you cook. And I hope you get stuck in the rain with no shelter near by. I basically wish for you to live in he** you dumb^ss foul m^therfuck!ng b^tch