Finnaly someone said it..the mc don't actually know what it feels like to be loved or to love someone.When he first saw the ml he actually like him but he himself doesn't know that he like the ml because he thought it was all just an unpleasant feeling..he hates feeling that unpleasant feeling so he want the ml to suffer but when he saw the ml suffer he felt guilt but doesn't know how to express his feelings like he doesn't know how to say sorry to the ml so he just said all hurtful things to the ml because he doesn't know how to express his feelings well he just know how to be mad(but I still feel bad for the ml he doesn't deserve any of this)