@Kyle Bernaldez bro if I can give you some genuine life advice. I started reading sh*** like this few years back too and now am miserable because of it. Don't read things like this or anything this way maybe get into some kind of sport and go do something else. If you rlly wanna end up in a good place later on you gotta do smth about it now. Smart men learn from their mistake but wise men also from the mistakes of others.