Comment by KENNY on Home page

@KENNY  ..a few years back I starved my self cause I felt over weight I lasted a week and a half without eating my mom didn't notice I had bags under my eyes pale skin and skinnier than before and I brought that up today and she didn't text back and now everyone is saying I'm wrong for expressing how I feel I guess a girl with perfect grades and never did anything wrong can't do that know days and I told my mom to Beth off her fat a** and stop drinking and get a job because she likes to drink I don't feel sorry for it but I just sat here and cried for 10 minutes I got a headache..I and 2 years ago I was gonna kill my self I had the notes ready and everything but I didn't I was to pu*** and I told my mom I should have killed myself that day and they everyone's problems would be solved so if I'm offline for the next week I might have killed myself I tired of solving everyone's problems but no one can solve my and don't tell me I need to be checked out I'm completely fuc**** sane..)

@KENNY  yo that mother is honestly a bi*** with all my respect for you but like the fu**??!!!?!!?? and are you for real?!? ur going to kill ur self and lose ur life while ur still in ur prime for them ?!? girl get that sh** out of ur mind and be strong just wait until you can get out of this fuc*** up house and live ur life

@KENNY I should not ask it but why did your mom turn into an alcoholic or was she an alcoholic from the start (before you were born) ?
The reason why i gave up on getting good grades was that my brain believed I should try less as much as possible in order to maintain an easy going lifestyle towards studying or any extra curricular activities (not the sports part ofc) this became a perverse pleasure i believe, trying too less in order to get okish results and if I fail i will have a reason to blame "I didnt even study for it". 

Be it any hardships you face in your house or in the social circle, I want to advise you to keep your clean behaviour, whatever you did before and naturally let it be. I think this will definitely take a toll on yourself due to the problems in your household, but i think you should make new friends but GOOD people or even somee unknown online friends, who should also be good people as its possible for a normal person to by mistake or intentionally turn and try to brain wash you.

Those people will be a means of social interaction for you and do not resort to ai for this as ai lacks humanity (the emotional feeling or more like the human errors). 
LIVE A GOOD LIFE, 
i am saying the following without giving any motivation for you to harm yourself, i promise.

LIVE YOUR LIFE, FOR THE SIBLINGS.
ONCE YOU ARE GONE, THEIR LIFE WILL FALL APART EVEN MORE,
be it the emotional toll on them for not helping the sister or their thoughts like "maybe its was my fault".
and read less manga and manhwas, instead study everything TO GROW , wait no.  just live

and the normal behaviour will help the siblings too, just caress them if its ok for you. have  random a** social interactions with strangers (if you want)
say good morning to the neighbours or the shop's shopkeeper you visit to.

@Pookiebee never mind I'm coo now but like I'm still mad but yes my mom can be a bi***

@nowifeorgf she was always A drinker but she was on and off a lot but a lot of days she's a good mom but she does to much and I'm fine now