Comment by Nickname on Our Sunny Days - Chapter 48

@Nickname i agree with the first part, I love how the author portrays the characters realistically. Adults don't always have a clear answer about anything and the male chatacters in the bl growing by being vulnerable and admiring they don't have answers either but still do their best to support each other and not repeating cycles by being emotionally available for the young boy. Buuut you have a warped view of women dude, we're not all that stereotypical combative insecure type lol. I think i get where you're coming from though bl's do be making their male characters act like anxiously attached women. That's what makes this story so special it's realistic, warm, and has complex characters.

@Void

Funny that's a "stereotypical man" in my statement doesnt bothered you, but a " stereotypical woman" is...

I'm a woman too - and this is exactly what I'm talking about. :D

That's the difference between men and women, and that's why any of these 2 wouldn't be replacable by a woman in their roles. NONE of them would ever wrote your comment. Just nod. Cause whatever.

@Nickname I think what Void is trying to say, and I agree with, is you're genderizng something that doesn't need to be. I don't think it's because they're men or women, it's because they're acting like actual mature grown ups, which you don't see too often on any manhwa. Someone is either waaay unrealistically naive, or unrealistically violent, cold, obsessive, possessive, uncontrolled emotions. It drives the drama in most stories but this one is soooo *chef's kiss*, it doesn't need it.

Just two adults who are aware of who they are, what they want from each other, they communicate. It's a rare gem

@Venaldre

I generized BOTH side, based on how the mayority of these groups works.

She had problem only with her part, and that's not a surprice, since women usually take it personal and emotional, meanwhile guys don't.

That was the whole point from the begining, and she literally just prooved it with this argument.:)

@Nickname I didn't have a problem with your generalization of men cause you didnt really say anything insulting towards them. I just found it wierd how you talked about women with so much distaste, which is ironic cause you are one. Like how you said you simply can't force a girl into that role. You mean women can't handle things with emotional maturity? Like thats purely a "manly" attribute.

@Void as soon as they said women are "emotional" and "take it personal" while "men don't", that's the end of the conversation imo.
They have very toxic stereotypes that an internet comversation isn't going to overcome. Men are also emotional, and it's those harmful stereotypes that keep men from feeling they are allowed to be. Men and women aren't as different as they think. But they will learn that with time. Have to remember there's some young people on here who just don't know better.

@Void ....Dunno why I just got the notification of this, but geeez... Nobody said that women can't handle things because they're too emotional. but we ARE take it personal. Just like you did  right here. I literally talked about fragile men-ego and you dared to say I didn't insult them, but the moment i talked about fragile women-ego, it magically become an insult somehow... BECAUSE we are women and we ARE take it personal. that's just how we are, that's one of the difference between men and women. The way we treat our emotions, the attention we give them, and the way we express them.
We ARE that different from men. (or men different from us, whatever you like)

We literally have a different brain structures, hormone system, we have different methods in life in general BECAUSE we are women. that's literally a scientific fact... It's you, who seems to think it means a woman somehow... a lesser human, unstable and incompetent. It's not. We are just different. Psychically, mentally, emotionally, men and women works differently, like it or not.
So yeah, you can't force a girl into that role (just like you can't force Ho into a girl-role either), not because a women can't handle it, but because the way she would handle it. It would be a different storyline with a women, with a totally different focus. The same setting, the same situation woul end in a totally different way, because it would be a woman involved.

@Venaldre Also, nobody said men aren't emotional... actually, they are the more emotional ones, partly because of their hormones like testosterone… That's why most of the times it's men who can't control their anger and become violent, that's why most abusers are men, that's why most domestic violence cases commited by men, and that's why most of the killers are men. they ARE the emotionally more instabil ones, which has a tonns of reasons from biology to social expectations, but a huge part of it is the fact that they naturally don't act out their frustration like women do by naging, crying, etc. They have a different built-up method to handle things, because evolution is a thing, and they were the protectors, the hunters, etc, the ones who take the higher risk in life in general, so they had to be able to get rid of their emotions in extreme/dangerous situations, if they wanted to live… the had to dismiss, dull their feelings all the time, and use brute force and violence to solve their problems.
But evolution progress slowly, so even if we're not cavemens anymore, this very basic surival methods can't just disappear in a few generation of peace and civilization… So, even if tho it's true the "men never cries" and other soial expectations are bullshits and pretty harmful, it's not the only reason men aren't that emotional in everyday life as women. They have the same strugles, it's just they're naturally handle them differently, without expressing them.

So when I stated an example what a women would do (the one you took as an insult, like... a woman. :D) it literally was about the way women express themselves vs men (don't) express themselves. In the very same situation. And that's why you can't swich any of the characters to a woman. beause it's written just right, as men usually handle these situatuons. And it's rare, because most Bl-s don't care about to foloow the realistic gender-based traits and dynamics, it's written from a women point of view, with a woman brain, because the creators (and the readers) are mostly women.

And that's the reason you barely know any BL where the MC is not the bottom... it's almost always about them, their problems, insecurity, a lot of them are literally as feminine as they allowed to be without bo***. And Ml (who we mostly see only through the eye of the MC) is always as masculine as they alowed to be without breaking the universal "fine man" cliche (no beard, no fat, etc), they're always tall, handsome, has a great body, etc, it's literally a gteenage wet-fantasy...

 

This BL is a rare exception, and not just because the psychical traits of Ho, who is hella masculine too, but because the whole setting is refused to please the female readers, and focus on how two men actually get along and love each other.

Not how women think they do, but how they actually do.