Review by Ivern for Romantic Captain Darling

Dear Yaoi Gōd, it is me again, Your faithful lambkin, Ivern...

...I know you can hear me, you decrepit hag. 

"...oh fùckin hèl- fine, WHAT IS IT NOW, WHAT!?"

Ehm ehm. When You sent me on this wretched site, on Your blessed mission-

"For the millionth time: I BANISHED YO-"

-blessed mission, I knew my faith was strong, and Your benevolence infinite. I knew cōck was to "come", and I rejoyced. I knew You were gonna deliver unto me the juiciest mantīts, the bounciest àss, the hardest abs. I had faith in the art that was promised to me, in the quality shading of the pecs that were coming. 

In Your infinite horknee and unending thirst, I dared to hope for a good characterization, too. For what is ànal sèx if not the melding of beautiful bodies in beautiful minds? 

"Is there a point in all this bùllshit?"

Not a point, my Lord, but a tip. The tip of the humongous còck of history's most perfect incarnation of a himbo, showed deep into a greedy hole. I see what You have done in past, and I want that for me, once again! I want to see cuddles, and the adorable stubbornness of a innocent young man fallen in love!

I want him to be credible tho! Stretch his characterization-hole until he is just short of a caricature of the concept of babygirl itself! 
"I AM THE GÒD OF GAY PŌRN AND THIS IS TOO MUCH EVEN FOR ME YOU DEGENERATE FÙC-"

"please CAN YOU NOT?!"

OH YE, WHO REIGNS OVER MANWHŌRES! BESTOW UNTO ME A REVELATION, A MANGA HOT ENOUGH TO DESERVE THE GRAND ACCOLADE OF IVERN™️ NOT BY MERE VIRTUE, BUT FOR ITS SHEER AROUSING PORKYNESS! 

"this is my personal hèll..."

I beseech you, Great Prostatic One. 

"fùck my life"

Grant me solace. And men in uniforms! Who fùck together! 

"...here."

Many thanks, my Lord! 

"I'm changing my number. And getting a restraining order."