WOW I AM SO EARLY

I HATE THE HAIRRRRRRR WHERE IS THE LONG HAIR

called it

W O W 

what did i just click on.... oh no no no .....

huh

I hope your pen runs out of ink mid-thought so you’re left staring at an unfinished sentence like it betrayed you personally, and may every replacement pen write slightly differently in a way that feels wrong but hard to explain, and I hope your keyboard occasionally skips a letter just often enough to undermine your typing confidence, and may autocorrect boldly change correct words into questionable ones as if it’s trying to add its own creative input, and I hope your tabs multiply beyond reason so closing them feels like a small administrative project, and may you accidentally close the one you still needed, and I hope every “quick” task expands into a series of mildly inconvenient steps that collectively consume far more time than justified, and may every attempt to relax be interrupted by something trivial yet persistent, and honestly, I hope your day is filled with just enough tiny, harmless inconveniences to keep things interesting, but never quite enough to justify complaining without sounding oddly specific.
 
 

and may your emails contain just enough ambiguity to require follow-up but not enough clarity to resolve anything quickly, and I hope every meeting you attend could have been an email, and every email could have been shorter, and neither ever is, and may your chair squeak just loudly enough during quiet moments to announce your presence like an accidental sound effect, and I hope your sleeves slide down at the worst possible moment while washing your hands so you end up with damp cuffs and quiet resentment, and may every paper cut you get be located in that oddly specific spot that only becomes noticeable when you least want it to, and I hope your socks develop a mysterious tendency to rotate slightly throughout the day so the seam is always just off-center enough to be irritating, and may your laundry always produce one missing item that you’ll never see again but will occasionally think about, and I hope your fitted sheet slowly escapes its corners during the night so you wake up in a gradually unfolding fabric situation, and may your pillow always feel slightly warmer than ideal no matter how many times you flip it, and I hope your dreams are just coherent enough to be confusing but not enough to be meaningful, and may you wake up with the faint sense that you forgot something but can’t quite place what, and I hope every time you try to be productive you remember three unrelated tasks that suddenly feel urgent, and may none of them actually get completed,

and I hope your grocery cart always has that one wheel that squeaks like it’s narrating your every move, and may it also drift slightly to one side so you look like you’re steering through an invisible obstacle course, and I hope every fruit you buy looks perfect on the outside but has a suspiciously disappointing interior, like it gave up halfway through existing, and may your bread always have one slice that’s noticeably smaller for no reason, forcing you into an unbalanced sandwich situation, and I hope your butter is always either too hard to spread or so soft it practically melts into existential regret, and may your fridge light flicker just enough to make you wonder if you imagined it, and I hope every time you pour a drink it fills just a bit too close to the top so you have to walk with exaggerated caution like you’re transporting a volatile experiment, and may your ice cubes always stick together in a single stubborn clump that refuses to cooperate until you’ve committed to an awkward amount of effort, and I hope your internet connection remains technically functional but just unstable enough to make every page load feel like a test of patience rather than a convenience, and may every video you watch default to the worst possible quality for a few seconds too long, and I hope your headphones always catch on something as you walk away, gently reminding you that freedom is conditional, and may your battery percentage drop faster than expected at the exact moment you decide not to bring a charger, and I hope your charger cable slowly twists itself into an abstract sculpture that no amount of untangling ever fully resolves, and may your apps update at the most inconvenient times, rearranging things just enough to make you question your memory, and I hope your notifications arrive in clusters so you never quite feel caught up

hope your alarm goes off exactly on time but your body decides it’s a suggestion rather than a command, leaving you hovering in that half-awake purgatory where every minute feels both too long and too short, and I hope when you finally get up, the floor has that faintly unpleasant temperature that makes you question all your life choices before you’ve even brushed your teeth, and may your toothbrush fall just slightly too close to the sink edge so you spend an unnecessary second debating gravity like it’s a philosophical dilemma, and I hope your toothpaste splurts out more aggressively than expected so it looks like you’re preparing icing for a cake instead of basic hygiene, and I hope every shirt you wear feels fine until you step outside and suddenly it’s either too warm or too cold in a way that feels personal, like the weather checked your outfit first, and may your keys always hide in the most obvious place but only after you’ve checked everywhere else twice, and I hope your pockets develop tiny holes that are just big enough to make coins disappear but not big enough to notice immediately, and may every door you push have a “pull” sign and vice versa, just to keep your confidence in check, and I hope your shoelaces come untied at the exact moment you feel slightly rushed so you have to choose between dignity and efficiency, and may every pedestrian crossing light take just a bit longer when you’re in a hurry but change instantly when you’re not, as if the universe enjoys subtle timing jokes at your expense,

i will come after you if this is the end

this is getting on my nerves.

im invested

OH WOW im early

comfused, i am confused

HIS MOTHER??

what.

i panicked only for this to happen.. *sighs*