I do respect that you feel lost and alone living a hard life. However, America by far has the most resources than any other country for self-help and coping with stress. They even have a 24/7 suicide hotline you can call (something like 911 but for people seriously contemplating suicide) that let you talk to experts about issues you struggle with. Most local governments have a mental health agency that has resources you can utilize (for example, NYC runs commercials on prime time tv advocating their resources for people struggling with life). Apps for getting help like talkspace are in the dozens. It's also the nation that has the most research published on mental health issues that people face in different stages in life.
Explore all those options, because America still lives up to its name as the land of opportunity and chances are by trying out everything, something might help. At the very least, your journey will probably give you insight and courage to change your life and not feel as tempted to commit suicide like you do now.