I think it's you who have come up with a really strange interpretation of events in the novel. I don't really think I need an open mind for actions clearly depicted by the author and the characters as ra**. S** isn't always necessary to guide and it definitely doesn't have to be forced or painful. Nowhere in the novel is it established that abuse or force is needed. The main character is however forced to have s** multiple times when guiding isn't even required. How is that not just plain s** with no pretense?