You've done a great job making it this far Yanyi. If you are attending school to complete your degree (assuming it isn't an online program), there is a chance they have someone on staff you can talk to, and likely among them a counselor. Many students have family issues and no one they can really turn to, so universities often have a resource center students can go to and get some degree of help. I understand your situation is difficult, especially with your mother shutting you down (she probably fears being shamed by her own peers and neighbors if word gets out about her daughter needing therapy), but at the end of the day, this is your life and your well-being at stake.