@Rick D. Roll
My conversation with my kids would be very similar to my conversation with you or anyone else but probably more in depth over time. I would explain that even adults are pretty terrible at dating (much less kids) and that awakening love before its time is painful, unnecessary and potentially dangerous. I would tell my kids that they aren't allowed to date until they are prepared to get married within the next 3 years so that they don't waste their time, attention or resources on romance that won't be profitable. I will even work together with my kids to help them plan out their near future and find families who are like-minded and consider dating as a temporary and transitional step towards marriage and treat marriage as a sacred institution. That way, if the marriage becomes rocky, both of our children will have parents who will support and reinforce the marriage as opposed to in-laws who might sabotage the marriage as soon as they sense weakness.
See, I don't see dating as something that you do for your whole life. Dating is a very short lived interim state in your youth that shouldn't become the marathon event that so many people turn it into. I think that children need guidance in picking out someone good because most people are terrible at picking, especially when your hormones can cover up significant red flags. I think that successful marriages need to be studied so that you can copy the best elements of successful marriages instead of studying professional serial dating in order to become a professional serial dater.
BTW, everyone already knows what works. Not only do we have success stories in the past we can study but we also tend to break every rule of studying anything when it comes to marriage because as humans we prefer excitement and hedonistic pleasures to long term profitable outcomes.
My conversation with my kids would be very similar to my conversation with you or anyone else but probably more in depth over time. I would explain that even adults are pretty terrible at dating (much less kids) and that awakening love before its time is painful, unnecessary and potentially dangerous. I would tell my kids that they aren't allowed to date until they are prepared to get married within the next 3 years so that they don't waste their time, attention or resources on romance that won't be profitable. I will even work together with my kids to help them plan out their near future and find families who are like-minded and consider dating as a temporary and transitional step towards marriage and treat marriage as a sacred institution. That way, if the marriage becomes rocky, both of our children will have parents who will support and reinforce the marriage as opposed to in-laws who might sabotage the marriage as soon as they sense weakness.
See, I don't see dating as something that you do for your whole life. Dating is a very short lived interim state in your youth that shouldn't become the marathon event that so many people turn it into. I think that children need guidance in picking out someone good because most people are terrible at picking, especially when your hormones can cover up significant red flags. I think that successful marriages need to be studied so that you can copy the best elements of successful marriages instead of studying professional serial dating in order to become a professional serial dater.
BTW, everyone already knows what works. Not only do we have success stories in the past we can study but we also tend to break every rule of studying anything when it comes to marriage because as humans we prefer excitement and hedonistic pleasures to long term profitable outcomes.