heyy we all r here for u i mean yea we r strangers but diff families r diff that way so to ans ur qn u can juat put like a patch of "salon pass" yes it may stink but its smth to cover up depends on whr.. also if u so need help u should try talking to ur sch counsellor if u do need help like therapy or ur tch if u do need help and i was in ur situation whr i was depressed but how i could go through during the time i was in sch was ignore everyone and think whats best for myself.And i did feel the same way as u abt k*ll*** myself but knowing it is haram is just a pain. so in my opinion the best way to control what ur feeling is to let out ur emotions towards someone u trust and who can listen to u. just saying think whats best for u,,this is ur life not ur parents nor ur sisters. dont care whatever they say if they fat shame u ignore them coz my mom also does that to me till now but i just ignore.if u ever feel that u cant do this then, take step by step pray that ur life will be better. nothings gonna change if u dont do smth abt it.