@borderlinedumb happens a lot when you are afraid of being judged, not your fault, its your friends' who dont even make you feel safe with them...saying from experience, i used to do that a lot but when i moved alone, i found some people who really cherished our relationship, i even tried to lie to them initially because of the trauma, but i used to contradict myself sometimes cause you dont remember when you had lied earlier, but they never pointed it out, then overtime it just got really better, now i dont, i just run my mouth unfiltered, change friends!! and about your bf, you can start being honest slowly, if the person is important, we forget the issue and if the issue is more important just forget the person, thats how it works if he cherishes you, this is such a lil thing and shouldnt affect much, its really common okay, just be yourself, trust me, not having friends is better than having bit**** as friends.