Comment by mygoldencum on mygoldencum

@curious reader

i'm still a coward. too scared to make changes, too scared to see the ugly parts of me, too scared to actually put my life into motion. it's even more numbing than death itself sometimes when death seems so much more peaceful than doing nothing in my meaningless and violent life. i don't know what to do, but i hang on to this sliver of hope that i said when i was 17: to make a beautiful life for myself. 

being that i'm in america there is not a lot of resources for me to aquire help, i have been using a lot of self help but it's temporary satisfaction.

i am sorry for you losing your friend, that's a pain that i wish to not install in my friends if i ever do decide to disappear from this world