@Misanthropist actually
Spoiler!
She was just thinking that her existence in this world doesn't matter and while thinking about this she was sitting on the balcony edge when Kael came rushing and saved her and thought she was committing suicide.
I like to post spoilers for the stories I find interesting because I don't have much time to read novel due to busy schedule
you will find me in most romantic historical manhwa comment sections 
you will find me in most romantic historical manhwa comment sections