@Pipi firstly it's about inclusivity, being included in the important matters and discussions like an equal, like an actual wife and life partner. Secondly, it about understanding what your partner wants and what makes them happy and enabling them to grow as a better version of themselves and not burdening them with your own viewpoints and opinions and deciding what's good for them on your own. If you have some non-negotiables, communicate and discuss and find a middle ground or some solution that works for both. Sèx is not always the answer!!