Comment by Rick D Roll on Prinzinc

@Prinzinc You are right, is the parent's responsibility to keep them safe and tell them what they can or can't do, but that's different from putting them in a bubble and just say no to the romance (ESL so to explain "putting them in a bubble" is an expression used to indicate a person putting someone else in an environment deprived of almost everything and sheltering them from reality because one believes is the best and in those cases when the bubble burst [or in other words they face reality] then society becomes a hard thing for them to navigate and that's when you see those dumb/overly innocent adults), using your example with drugs, if you just outright prohibit them the use of drugs, when they grow up and in the first chance they get, they will try drugs because they wanted to taste what is the forbidden, however if you tell them why is bad and explain to them why you are telling them to not do it and be a good parent and not leave your cigarette/drugs in a place where your kid can access to them and use it, then it's ok even if you go to the places where there are drugs.

And I say this because some people live in places that it's inevitable and will see all kinds of drugs and prostitution, etc. so the role of the parent is not say no to everything but is to guide them through the right path. Ofc if you can avoid any contact or them seeing drugs/prostitution even if you have to go to those places then it's fine, or in the issue here, if you avoid them having s3x while they still have their relationship, then it's fine.

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1 Reply

PrinzincBattle-Hardened·7 months ago

@Rick D. Roll I disagree with that parenting style. What I will agree with is that kids need to know why something is good or bad as opposed to just being told what to do or not to do.

The claim that kids will grow up "too innocent" or "too dumb" because they haven't been given a chance to do all of the bad things in life is just a terrible and apathetic non-parenting style. It often leads to super bad outcomes and only rarely leads to good ones. A parent's duty is to help their children avoid bad outcomes as much as humanly possible through a combination of education, restrictions and postive/negative reinforcement. The idea that 2/3rds of the parental job is bad started to become widespread in the late 90's due to Hollywood pushing TV shows and movies depicting strong parenting as "bad" and non-parenting as "good". You know it's great when Hollywood pushes it. I mean, look at how well-balanced all of the kids in Hollywood turned out to be. :D

And I don't think it's "putting them in a bubble" when you keep kids from doing bad things or when you remove bad things from children's easy access. Sure, occasionally kids will go out of their way to access only the bad stuff when they are restricted from it but often times it does keep kids away from the bad stuff long enough to prevent the worst case scenarios. If you philosophically disagree then by all means keep the cupboard under the sink unlocked for your toddlers and don't secure your guns in a safe.

But, each to their own. I'm raising my kids one way and I know it's not the "Hollywood approved" way. That's also probably why it's going to be far more successful.

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