im so sorry this happened to you. you were only a child so of course its not your fault because you didnt know any better, dont be too hard on yourself. please also remember there isnt a certain "way" a man should act. there is no such thing as acting "gay" either. your personality is your personality and im sorry that the adults around you have failed you and made you lose confidence in yourself. i hope you can manage to feel confident in your own skin no matter what your interests are or how you act or talk. fu** that "real man" bullshit. it may seem impossible but you will get there. im sending you love and well wishes bro.