@Spades I am just throwing myself in the deepest of the sh** and hating myself and regretting and turning into a complete loser . I have no beauty, no talent for anything, no passion for anything, no particular goal not even good at studies what do I have?? Nothing?? I give up before even trying hopelessly waiting for others to push me but how far will that even take me?? I know the answer but I still standing there at the bottom like a loser a complete waste of breath with nothing to show I am not even a good human Why would anyone want to be with me?? I wish I could change I really do but I don't know how or maybe I wish I could disappear so no know would know me my existence If that happens there will be no expectations no nothing. I am not brave enough to unalive myself I hate getting hurt lol but I am too scared to live in this world too full of competition and expectation I wish I could just open a cafe in a beach side rode and spent my time reading eating and sleeping having a lil garden in the backyard and a cycle to ride. Funny I am penniless for such luxurious life I don't even know how to ride a cycle but for a dreamless person like me that's the only hopeless dream I have that probably will never come true specially where I am living opening a cafe in a beachside Road will take millions sigh well whatever I will cry and feel bad today then go with myself life like usual tomorrow and it will probably go on until the day I die a miserable life of a miserable person and no will remember some one like me actually existed after my death
Comment by Spades on Spades
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@Spades sometimes seeing others achieve things that you know or dream you can achieve can make you feel all types of ways. But don't beat yourself up because what you think you can't do. Don't say you can't do it becuase you can!! If you give up right now than your giving up on your future, even if you can't get a scholar ship rn that should matter. Don't compare yourself to anyone that puts u down even more, just do what you can at least set 1 goal you KNOW you can achieve and once you achieve that then make more goals and so on. Your not nothing, if you were then you would even be in uni right now right?? Sometimes nobody will be there to give you motivation, and that sucks bu** but one thing i can say is never give upp cus if you do that when what u have been going twds or working twds start to crumble on u and you end up hating urself and not knwing what to do. BUTTT if you keep trying to set a goal for yourself achieving small small things and doing little things, you'll end up with a good future that one day you''ll find peace in and work at that café your talkin bout!! 
SO YEAHH YOU GOTTT ITT!!
SO YEAHH YOU GOTTT ITT!!