@Rikuu 4, I'll never live like a robot, that's what I said to myself when I first started this journey , that's why I try not to feel guilty when I eat out with my family or friends but the guilt is just there yk? But that's not even the problem, I haven't had anyone to explain these things to me so I try to make my ownself understand that it's fine if I'm occasionally eating out with my peers precisely more so since I enjoyed myself, and had a great time, and that's all that matters! I used the word occasionally because I believe in consistency>perfection.
The problem here lies in the strength training part, I really really hate it, I don't want to do it a single more day in my life. I can't do it properly either so I'm not sure if I'll even build muscle at this rate .. is there no other way than to do strength training? I'm a little skeptical about eating at maintenance too because I still have some fat on my thighs, legs, belly, and face (I want a sharp jawline) even though my weight is so low - not sure if that's skinny fat or just fat? also because some days you just go over your calorie deficit since it's impossible to eat the exact same amount of calories daily.