@Renheng It reset my comment so this may take a bit longer but it’s okay. I’m sorry for taking a broadly used statement and taking it and interpreting it in my own way instead of asking what you meant direct but that’s something that’s good to clarify when using a broad term. “He’s an adult man” often implies setting an expectation of someone. I interpreted it in the way of you saying that he should be mature despite the things he has gone through. I never mentioned my own trauma or that I was the only one who had it. Saying stuff like that makes it seem that you were more or less implying such in the beginning. Again it’s how people take and handle trauma that affects others or not. Some don’t get the kind of coping skills they need to properly handle and express trauma and end up letting it affect others in negative ways or dragging others down to relieve that trauma. (Often how bullying starts). I did understand what you were saying that’s why I responded with an opinion instead of asking for clarification. Your calling me a robot and saying I’m sticking to my opinion when your doing the same I doubt your taking time to read what I say and actually think about it. I didn’t mean to force your opinion on to you and I’m sorry it came off that way. I opposed you because I wanted to debate and have a meaningful conversation and even let’s you have a chance to show others how you see things not because what you think is wrong. I don’t agree that what he did to the people around him was right either but even still it’s good to take a moment tonight understand why. “If you were human” that’s harsh. I didn’t say you said that I said that directly to you as my opinion that “well-written stories don’t always have a happy ending“. You- “well-written stories always need a sad ending.” Honey you just twisted your own words.
I’m going to write to you because I don’t want to end on a bad note but thank you for unblocking me.
Comment by Ungar on Renheng
1 Reply
@Ungar i don't know what to say anymore, it's like i'am talking to a wall, "If you were human, you would understand that when someone hurts you, regardless of their trauma, your own feelings and pain still matter. You are not a robot".
And in case you didn't catch my drift, this wasn't directed at you; it was a general statement about human beings. It means that as a human, you . You should know how to empathize with yourself, so consequently, if someone treats you badly, regardless of whatever trauma they may have, your own emotions naturally come first. Because you live your life firsthand, you don't just watch it from above, so it's obvious your feelings come first. Then, if someone hurts you—no matter what trauma they have—if it hurts you, it makes sense to react accordingly. And well yes, how you treat others and how you are treated is more important .
That's because people can't just read your mind to figure out what you're going through. They see you for how you present yourself. Obviously, if you don't tell them what's wrong, they're just going to judge you based on your behavior. If you treat them badly, they will judge you for how you treat them. So yes, trauma is trauma, and it's a terrible thing, okay? But that doesn't give you a free pass to mistreat someone.
That is what I meant. How do you think people feel when their family is murdered, only for the perpetrator to be handed a free pass under the guise of anonymity and trauma? How do you think they could possibly feel? That’s what I was trying to say, but I guess you either didn’t read it carefully or you completely misinterpreted it.
Fine, think whatever you want. You're right, okay? Let's just end it here. Every time I open this site and the first thing I see is a message from you, it ruins my day. (nothing personal but because I suffer from social anxiety and these endless discussions drain my energy )So, let's just drop it
Not to mention that you wrote: 'Well-written stories don't always have a happy ending" "Well-written stories always need a sad ending" First of all you wrote those things (Now in the message I'm replying to), I didn't. I actually went back to check my messages and I never said any of that stuff—absolutely not. I'm just so tired of this. It seriously feels like you're misunderstanding me on purpose. Either English isn't your first language(But it's the same for me, I feel like I understand more, since you're the one who misinterprets everything I say) or I don't know what's going on, unless I'm the one who's going crazy.
This will be the last time I answer you, I will not read what you write to me anymore and if you want to have the last word you are welcome have a wonderfull day miss or mister