Hi I'm sorry to here you're struggling, but give this a little time I'm sure it'll get better from here. I think you should start putting yourself first and try to keep a little distance from what hurts you.. you should do the small things that bring you even an ounce of joy and just like the other wonderful people who replied, I'm here for you and I believe you are destined to do much greater things and that it might seem hard and impossible for things to change but it'll get better. If you feel like you're still struggling I'll help you in any way I can <3 take care and I'd like you to know you're needed her