Ok so as an autistic person I have to say that I sort of understand Donjae.
so Like it's not necessarily that's he's a toxic person where he'll never try to understand ppl . cause he will admit he's wrong or at least try to understand ... A toxic person will only ever see their point even when they know they are wrong and they won't even bother trying to understand the other person
however Donjae isn't really necessarily "toxic" he just has a hard time understanding ppl and different situations..
for example me when I was younger I used to not understand certain ways to "act" in situations or ppl. Usually most ppl will just automatically understand that you can't say certain things or be too blunt to certain ppl cause it would come off as "rude" whereas in my case and I'm guessing it's similar for Donjae.. us being "blunt" and just "telling it as it is" is us just being "genuine" and truthful cause why would we "lie" and I didn't understand that it's not necessarily "nice to always be blunt" and do "certain actions" because it could come off as us being a "jerk or rude" or hurt another's feelings. It did take a while for me to understand but I eventually understood. And I think that all Donjae needs is someone to explain these things cause imagine going your whole life thinking what you do is "a regular and normal thing everyone does but it's really not typical" and even when it comes to putting yourself in others shoes that's extremely hard sometimes for certain ppl and for me to even understand usually someone has to explain it to me. it might seem like Donjae is only seeing "his pov and not Euntak" but I think it's just he has a hard time explaining what he means and understanding ppl. But eventually he may understand.
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@just.a.gay.dude also I'm not excusing Dojae for hurting , Euntak and im not saying that Euntak has to be explaining things for him cause in some ppl eyes "your partner shouldn't have to do that" but I am saying that Euntak is not the only one here that's completely right cause he expects Dojae to understand him but he also isn't trying to understand Dojae . Both of them are misunderstanding earth other.
Dojae Literally doesn't understand because he seems very confused cause Euntak did say that "don't tell any strangers abt us dating" but then Dojae's mom is NOT a stranger and then if someone gets mad at me when I literally did what they ask then obviously I'm gonna be confused so that's why I understand Dojae. If Euntak wants to explain to him and communicate cause that's what partners should do then the both of them would understand each other. Even Dojae would understand eventually.
however it is gonna take a lot sometimes for explaining to Dojae cause he doesn't understand these things. And some partners are ok with explaining certain things but some partners are not and honestly it depends on the person.
@just.a.gay.dude for me I always tell anyone I'm gonna be with "I struggle with understanding and processing things so we might have many misunderstandings not necessarily bad ones but just lots of communication with me trying to understand if I did something wrong or not and or me trying to understand u and if I did ever do anything wrong I would want to communicate with u to understand where I went wrong cause I won't immediately understand. So please try to have patience with me and know that I'm not asking you to be my teacher and baby me I'm just asking for patience and for u to understand that sometimes I just need some communication that's all. And if u can't handle lots of communication then we can't be together cause it would just be harder on both of us especially me "
but in Dojae's case he really does not Seem to understand himself or understand if he's doing something wrong or not until someone points it out and a misunderstanding will happen. And Euntak just automatically expects Dojae to understand but he does Understand why he thinks or acts this way. But I think that euntak will understand him eventually and try to have patience cause he might understand that it's not his fault.
But it's up to Euntak if he wants to stay. And as for Dojae I hope that he understands himself eventually cause it's hard not understanding situations, pov , how to read the room, ppl emotions , how to act , how to not be too blunt, when to tell a lie.. cause it's "better" ..
i hope he'll either find someone that will have to patience with him to explain these things as life goes on or if Euntak is willing to then he can help.
ALSO PLS NOTE THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO READ MY COMMENTS I ALREADY KNOW ITS LONG.
totally agree with you dojae does indeed need someone who has patience and someone who would bother explaining stuff to them and bear with them but its "hard" to find someone who always explains stuff at some point this person will get tired and i totally understand if that person gets tired but if they really wanted to stay with them they WOULD keep bearing with it and explain it. like i too relate to dojae bc i find it hard to read situations and other peoples pov but i can read the room and ppl emotions.
as for eun tak or whatever his name is, he has a point, i understand that he wants to "hide" their relationship bc hes a "sensitive" person and is a "im scared of other peoples opinion" kinda person but its not like he can hide it forever or something plus it doesnt matter aslong he is happy ryt? like ppl need to mind their own bussines, fu** them.
i hate how they think theyre "solving" and "communicating" while theyre just yelling at each other and expecting each other to understand their pov. like instead of that yall could think of a solution to your da** problems instead of wasting time. they needa learn to listen to each other. smh if i was there i would have solved it for them cuz its frustraing to read and i hate how i relate to their situation😭
(HELPEPE NOT ME GIVING ADVICE WHEN I CANT FOLLOW MY OWN😭)
@HELLOVENUS ok and your point is ... like I already know my comment is long so when you point out the obvious it makes no sense. Also not everyone is like you.. some ppl will read my comments and some won't. It's up to them
@vally yesss this.. I completely agree and I love how you explained too🖤.
I understand what u mean when u say it's hard to find someone who will explain and they'll get tired.. in my case I did meet alot of ppl who didn't have patience with me not necessarily partners but friendships.. but luckily I have met a few ppl who take the time to understand me and explain their feelings and communicate with me whenever we have a misunderstanding.
and it's those same ppl who tell me that they are glad they stayed friends and had patience with me because some of them say I understand them the most out of any friend and it's true cause see like ppl like me are often misunderstood but sometimes we just need someone to listen and have patience and we are genuinely ppl who try to be there for our friends and whatnot
sending hugs to u since you relate to their situation as well cause I know communication could be hard depending on the persons involved.
