I honestly don't understand how and why people believe not taking your life is cowardly. It actually takes far more courage and perseverance to endure life under harsh circumstances than succumb to the temptation of ending it all. Not to mention, people who know and care about you will feel devastated, even if you don't realize it. Some people are so devastated by the loss, they are never the same, so please don't ever take the matter of taking your life lightly. I speak as someone who had a friend commit suicide, and I still live with the guilt and I doubt I will ever get over it, despite the fact they chose to end their life and I was at my wits end at the time.
If things are that bad, talk to people you care about, share how hard life feels and see if anyone is willing to help you through what you are facing. Get professional help if things are genuinely that bad. Mental health professionals can be surprisingly helpful, at the very least, they will listen with their undivided attention to your problems. They might even point out opportunities or suggestions you haven't considered. A big change like changing to be the person you want to be in life requires taking small steps and committing to the path. It's not an overnight change, you may even find yourself making backward steps or even starting back at square 1. But that doesn't mean your efforts were for naught. The path to success is more often than not navigating the maze of failure. Don't give up and have people you trust hold you accountable if you are serious.