You see, he was abandoned by his best friend and love, for only killing the aristocrats who could hurt them, in the end they didn't even care about his condition.
In past chapters, his best friend didn't want him to kill himself because it would make the "saint" cry, that is, he doesn't care about his friend who did so much for him, besides the fact that the "saint" is not so holy so, for she and the church only vision to win them over.