@rttnlvvr<3 love ur belladona pfp

It's been a while since I opened up something like this publicly, it's just... It feels so nice cause there's a side in the internet that I love now while I'm currently in the roughest part in real life. Idk I may sound over- exaggerated but honestly I love that this part in the internet is existing, like it was my escape. I have already wrote my ideal gl manhwa years ago and now I'm planning to draw it and hoping I'll be able to do it cause I'm really desperate  to finish it off right away...everytime I wake up, all I can think about is dying and believing that there was a reincarnation so I can paint my death to be called bittersweet atleast thinking that I'll be reincarnated as a successful and happy human being. I honestly gaved up in everything, I really have no hope, I'm just escaping nowadays (what they call dissociative reality)... although I'm aware that consequences of my actions are destroying my future, I'm still doing it anyway cause what kind of choice do I have when I am desperate of what they call 'freedom and joyous life', all of these bad habits are my only happiness so far... I have been trying to change that kind of view in my life for ages but nothing have changed... I still want to die... I'm so tired even I can honestly tell that there were beautiful things in life , I cannot reach them anyway.

@🏳️‍🌈(Bi)tch🏳️‍🌈 honestly I really don't have any problems with those  bl! But whatthefvck the fans are extremely cringe and thirsty with everything like u can literally see their thirsty comments in every side of the internet and most of them are straight girls that crossing the line between self respect and gay people... Most of them are overly sexualizing those characters... Of course we had those kinds of fans here in gl too but you can really tell the difference of each fans behaviour. I observed that the fandom in gl are protective over weird guys who sexualizes gl characters, and mostly of the bl fans are toxic.