Comment by Mana sou on Home page

@Mana sou explain the problem

@Bai bai Froggy problem is I'm being an insensitive asss on accident. I'm insensitive and cold hearted and idk how to be there for my friends. I keep accidentally hurting their feelings with my stupid jokes and sometimes they don't even tell me it bothers them at all so I'm left confused. However when somebody expresses their discomfort with me i immediately apologize and change my behavior. I just don't wanna hurt people anymore and idk how to do that. It's just hard for me to realize how someone feels and why they feel that way. I want and need to fix this, or else I'll keep destroying my relationships

@Bai bai Froggy also I feel like a horrible person

@Mana sou u just need to observe ther raction on ur thoughts ...or observe the environment...whats going arnd u ...is ur fnrd in truoble...hld i crack on this topic ..like that .  Or other option stay quite speak less so u can hurt leas prople

@Mana sou i used to do the same thing. eventually i just kind of stopped starting conversations lol like i still talk to people if they talk to me and im always really nice in what i say to people but its hardly ever genuine because i have a difficult time making myself really care. im also really bad at picking up on social cues. so yeah, tbh i relate to this a lot, it used to happen all the time where people would bring something up way later about something i said or how i acted and not only would i not remember it but even while theyre explaining it i would still have a hard time realizing what they were getting at. its really embarrassing and i always felt really bad about it. it didnt really help that they never believed me when i said that I didnt realize, they always thought i was just being a di** on purpose :(. so i guess talking less was just kind of a natural progression for me.

when i went on like my first date and was picking her up, I didn't go up to the house I just waited in my car. Like in retrospect, years later, yeah i was a dumbass. but at the time i legitimately didn't realize that was rude lmao. It didn't help that i was sheltered like a mf and homeschooled till i was like 15 but when she brought it up wayyyy later it literally shocked me. like not only had i not realized it was rude, but then i just literally never thought about it again lmao. so to realize that she had been thinking about it all this time kinda fuc*** me up lol ive got so much empathy but i need people to actually tell me to my face before i can actually feel empathy over it.

@Mana sou that being said, the right answer (if its an option) is try a therapist. I never did, but I kind of regret that. theyre good at helping you understand how your (personal) mind works, which is like the absolute single most important thing to know about yourself if you want to change things. because you have no chance at all if you dont even know whats going on with your mind in the first place.

anyway, it might be no help at all and sorry about all the words lol but good luck

@sosocrates I relate to you so much. Btw I was mainly talking about my online friends, but there have been occasions where I did that to my irl friends too. When they brought it up I felt so embarrassed. Also I am going to a therapist because I have depression and social anxiety. I'm gonna talk to her about this in our next meeting. Thanks

@Mana sou I had any prblm but I m emotional unavailable...haha..sad reality tbh its not that extreme but whenever there is a prblm I feel like ...I m tired ..I don't want to k ur prblm ....no i don't want to do this like that ....well nobody is perfect