Comment by Renheng on Ungar

Comment on ReplyUngar
Renheng
Renheng·2 weeks ago
@Ungar Look, basically everything you say makes absolutely no sense because you keep putting words in my mouth. I simply said that he is an adult and should take responsibility for his actions. Don't come here telling me otherwise, because you all act as if you're the only ones who have ever experienced trauma. Newsflash: plenty of people out there have gone through horrific trauma, yet they don't act like jerks or drag others into their issues. It doesn't work that way. We are different precisely because everyone has their own way of dealing with pain. But you are actively defending someone who has trauma and make others suffer, and I will not forgive that. My example fits perfectly, yours doesn't. Just because someone has trauma doesn't mean their bad behavior should be excused or instantly forgiven. You keep saying 'Oh, but I interpreted it this way,' but the truth is you didn't understand a single thing. If you actually read my comments properly, you’d get what I mean. But you don't even try. You just want to oppose me because you love being right and forcing your opinion. So fine, you're right. Let's just end it here. I won't write to you, and you won't write to me. I blocked you before because I wanted to put an end to this, but apparently even blocking doesn't work with you because you are desperate to be right. Go ahead and keep defending someone who uses trauma to justify everything they do. When someone with trauma treats you like garbage and you end up crying because you can't forgive what they did, then you'll finally understand what I’ve been telling you. Until then, I guess you'll just keep saying, 'Oh, poor things, everyone deals with trauma differently!' even when they do awful things. Everyone has trauma—some harder, some less severe—but we all have it. If a person makes terrible choices and hurts others, they do not deserve forgiveness in my book. If someone treats me like that, I don't sit there saying 'poor guy.' I walk away because they made me suffer. If you were human, you would understand that when someone hurts you—regardless of their trauma—your own feelings and heart still matter. You are not a robot. But you refuse to read what people actually write; you just stick to your opinion, refuse to understand others, Go ahead, do whatever you want, there's freedom of speech. But let's end it here. I am exhausted from carrying on this conversation. And yes, blocking you is the only way to put a definitive end to this without endless arguments. I would also like to tell you: who the fuck said that well-written stories can't have a sad ending? I never said that. See? You keep putting words in my mouth and twisting what I say. I simply stated that stories need to be well-written. I never said they must have a happy ending; you are the one who misinterpreted my words. Again. There are plenty of well-written stories out there with sad endings. Nana by Ai Yazawa, for example, is beautifully written because it develops and values all the characters and their struggles. There are many great stories like that, but this one just isn't. So stop putting words in my mouth, because I never said well-written stories always need a sad ending. And stop playing the victim in a situation where you aren't one, so stop trying to look good at my expense. Should we end it here? Yes, let's end it, because I'm tired of seeing your comments every time I open this site. You don't think you're being mean? Fine, that's your opinion. I'll stay on my side and you stay on yours. I unblocked you just to say this, but don't write to me anymore. Bye, have a good day and stop messaging me. Let's just end it here. Okay? (I don't want to talk to people who don't want to take into consideration what I say when I'm very willing to understand their side.)
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1 Reply

@Renheng It reset my comment so this may take a bit longer but it’s okay. I’m sorry for taking a broadly used statement and taking it and interpreting it in my own way instead of asking what you meant direct but that’s something that’s good to clarify when using a broad term. “He’s an adult man” often implies setting an expectation of someone. I interpreted it in the way of you saying that he should be mature despite the things he has gone through. I never mentioned my own trauma or that I was the only one who had it. Saying stuff like that makes it seem that you were more or less implying such in the beginning. Again it’s how people take and handle trauma that affects others or not. Some don’t get the kind of coping skills they need to properly handle and express trauma and end up letting it affect others in negative ways or dragging others down to relieve that trauma. (Often how bullying starts). I did understand what you were saying that’s why I responded with an opinion instead of asking for clarification. Your calling me a robot and saying I’m sticking to my opinion when your doing the same I doubt your taking time to read what I say and actually think about it. I didn’t mean to force your opinion on to you and I’m sorry it came off that way. I opposed you because I wanted to debate and have a meaningful conversation and even let’s you have a chance to show others how you see things not because what you think is wrong. I don’t agree that what he did to the people around him was right either but even still it’s good to take a moment tonight understand why. “If you were human” that’s harsh. I didn’t say you said that I said that directly to you as my opinion that “well-written stories don’t always have a happy ending“. You- “well-written stories always need a sad ending.” Honey you just twisted your own words. I’m going to write to you because I don’t want to end on a bad note but thank you for unblocking me.