Yall Ik this is super random but I need someone to hear me out cause I have nobody. Since childhood I was sad cause nobody liked me while growing up I've given multiple ppl chances and I mean allot I never wanted to hurt them. I trusted them. But it never lasted. Nobody ever rly LOVED me. I was broken but for once in a time I thought hey it's okay u r stilll 14 there is plenty of time but guess what I cannot do this anymore it never gets better my brain is fuc*** I mean it rly is I cannot think straight my thoughts are scrambled up and I hear voices that tell me how useless ugly and unwanted I am. Everyday I go out it eats me inside and drains me out and then I am alone all I can do is cry about it. And now I got a therapist but I don't even wanna heal. What if I do and then someone ruins it again and I know this will happen cause I'm to dependent on ppl I love. There is just no chance for me. I cannot do this anymore i don't even need advice cause everytime I try it fails again. Idk what I need in life to be happy anymore everyday feels like something telling me and u think it's worth to keep living like this? It feels like someone is telling me to kms idk what to do anymore I'm out of breath.
Nicotine addiction Bleb i'm in the psych ward rn Miku saved me
Spoiler!
For whoever is always disliking my comments u ain't tuff vro kys
@Letmedie I get what ur saying but yh u r only 14 n promise its okay to feel like how u feel rn at this age bcs it was the same for me when I was younger (not saying we r the same ofc.) But like honestly you need to think and reflect on what u mean saying "nobody liked me growing up" like in what type of love dym, be realistic abt how things went n what truely happened don't tell urself n lie to urself n be completely honest with urself so u can get over it. If it's your appearance or something like that, then think about how u can improve yourself n acc do it n not js like keep urself in sorrow. U shld reflect on what u think the problems r n slowly try fixing them urself and always try telling some1 everything so u feel lighter. Find something you really like n completely keep your focus on it n go into different things related to it to distract urself so u can start focusing on urself positively again. I wish I cld js tell u the other things but it's not gonna work for u bcs I was extremely honest n straightforward with myself like if I convinced myself to be un bothered I became un bothered like that's how it went for me, I'm js crazy self aware n up front so things were easier to get in my control. But gd luck, hope it helps n if u needa talk or say anything else, go ahead.
@Letmedie I think that for your situation you should become more comfortable with yourself. It might take a while, but once you realize that you are the only person who won't get tired of hearing you talk for hours or won't tell you that your thoughts or ideas are stupid, then maybe you won't be so dependent on others emotionally anymore. Yes, the negative thoughts won't suddenly disappear, they'll still be here for a while, but just start with being comfortable with yourself. Being ready to let go of people regardless of weather they like you or not is freeing.
@Letmedie it's ok to switch therapists if they don't work for you. I've gone through many and that's ok. If you watch Naruto before, think of Gaara " Love Yourself" that's helped me a lot I centering my thoughts and who I am. People will come and go but you remain you. It's very important to remember that when you're feeling blah. I've dealt with anxiety for years, was on meds, they stopped working on and off. I finally realized that I have to find an anchor mentally cause sometimes you're by yourself and bad thoughts come out of nowhere. I learned to enjoy silence and also accept when others talk, everything is temporary even when you feel annoyed, breathe. I tell myself on and off " I'm a calm river, nothing will ripple my happy zone" nothing, it helps to think like that at least for me. Find your rock 🪨 and don't let anything move you from it. Hope it helps a little. I'm glad you at least vented your worries here. Feel better
