Comment by KTSupreme on The Boundary of Delusion - Chapter 36

@KTSupreme Because he doesn't love him right. He's obsessed. He wants, just once in his life, to be important, to leave a mark on the mind of someone who is important to him. He needs to overcome his traumas before he can even think about loving Nanjo the way he should. Just because the season shows us Mok's traumas and explains how he got to this point doesn't excuse what he did. It just shows that he didn't do what he did out of pure spite and malice. So I think the story is very well written so far. Now we'll have to see how things develop, but for now I think it would be better if the two didn't end up together. It would be a bit more original. 

@olympe Yeah it’s not love at all. He doesn’t even know him! It’s a built up delusion, a version of Nanjo on this pedestal that he created in his warped mind. But I’m sorry, I don’t care anymore how fucked up his childhood was or how desperately he wants love now. This is too much for me, like this “my suicide is on you” s*t breaks people, it ruins them. That he had these intentions… nope. Can’t do it. Nanjo should never want to go near him ever again. This can’t be love, I can’t even imagine how it possibly could be in the future. You’re right, there is no excuse but yet some readers can’t see the issues with what’s being portrayed this season. I have to disagree, I feel like Danrim has lost her way with this and she’ll end up putting them together where Nanjo does so out of pity and carries this burden, and their relationship will be toxic off this new foundation of it never being truly earned through healing, growth, genuine feelings or without any of their complexes or dependencies. I hope I’m wrong. Truly! But I’ve had enough for now. We’re nearly a third of the way through this season and nothing has progressed at all. I never expected it to become this dark. It never needed to be. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

@KTSupreme I think the author is quite consistent in how he shows Mok-Yeon's personality and his feelings. If you recall the beginning of Season 1, Mok-Yeon was "fixated" on Nanjo. And I don't think it was love at first sight; he saw something he desperately wanted/needed in Nanjo himself or in the way Nanjo treated Sunhwa. He was fixated even then, it was already an obsession. But back then, Nanjo was within his reach, he could manipulate him, he could believe he could keep Nanjo. And now we see the natural progression of this obsession. And he's been unable to think clearly for a long time.
I don't think he's intentionally trying to make Nanjo responsible for his death (he's incapable of thinking clearly).
This condition needs to be treated, controlled, and corrected. Along with all of the above:

@ItsNotOverYet I appreciate the long message and also like how you basically broke it down into all of the questions I’ve been left asking too! I really want to trust in the process but with each new chapter, I’m really losing faith and confidence in the author. We’re nearly 1/3 of the way through the season and then that’s it like, there won’t be another season! At this point I just feel like even when they do get together, we won’t even have time to properly enjoy it or witness them as a normal, loving couple. I just don’t think any of us signed up for this level of dark progression and severe focus on such heavy topics. Like we knew it was complex and they were all morally grey characters that need to be viewed with nuance and such, that this season wouldn’t be easy but I genuinely never expected everything to devolve into this. It’s miserable, there’s nothing to grasp onto right now. No progression, nothing to even like really. 

I understand Mokyeon’s backstory, his inability and incapacity for love, that codependency and fixation he formed on Nanjo but the way we’re witnessing his entire world collapsing around it, is making it incredibly hard for me to ever visualise how they could be happy together. His “love” isn’t real, it’s a fabricated delusion based on this idea of Nanjo, this version of Nanjo he formed on a pedestal that doesn’t actually exist. He doesn’t know him. He knows little bits and things he thinks he knows from watching him. And worse, he’s disregarded and broken every single one of Nanjo’s boundaries and requests, which only emphasises the level of obsession and toxicity. I know his state of mind is fucked but he still went into this situation, knowingly choosing to impart the cruelest, most vile thing a person could ever do to another. I don’t know how to come back from that as a reader, and still buy into their eventual “love story”. 

The author has gone so heavy and deep into this and I feel like she didn’t appropriately prepare us for that, especially when she’s made conflicting comments pre-season about how this season would progress. I just struggle to believe how Mokyeon, who has lived a lifetime like this and has exasperated because of this one guy, could possibly change now when he just keeps spiralling further. And then how am I supposed to believe that Nanjo, who I do think had feelings developing for Mokyeon until Mokyeon sabotaged them away, could ever want to be with him after all of this? It’s beyond toxic and damaged. And if we do go down the cliched route of Nanjo visiting him or looking after him out of pity or guilt or his savour complex, then this just becomes another one of those stories. Which is sad, and I hope it doesn’t happen. But the story has lost me now. It doesn’t even feel like the same manhwa or characters anymore. It even feels too late for Nanjo’s POV, which should’ve happened weeks ago. Cause Mokyeon crossed that line now so really, what does it even matter anymore? 

I don’t know, I think I just reached my limit with a season which has continued to disappoint me with each new chapter, and this one feels like it’s irrevocably ruined it for me. Which is upsetting, cause I loved this Manhwa so much.

@KTSupreme Thank you so much for your reply! It's interesting to read, especially since many of my feelings resonate with you.
I understand your point of view! I'm also a little worried that with each chapter, the number of problems, actions, lack of help, and the fact that Mok-Yeon and Nanjo don't interact—all of this increases with each chapter to such a degree that it's hard for me to imagine an ending in which their relationship is happy, sincere, and mutual. Or rather, I can imagine such a relationship and such an ending, but I lack the imagination to figure out how they'll get there from this point. But I really hope the author has come up with something truly good, not the usual "all the problems are magically solved, they're back together." And yes, with each chapter, there are fewer and fewer chapters devoted to the process of rebuilding their relationship, to them truly getting to know each other, and to the "happy couple" period.

Regarding the darkness and heaviness of Season 2: I also didn't expect Season 2 to be like this. Surprise!😂 But maybe I even like how heavy it is (well, that's just my opinion). And the author describes Mok-Yeon's states of mind surprisingly well and accurately. For example, when Mok-Yeon's friends visited, many readers perceived it as a positive development, but in the plot, it actually worsened—immediately after leaving, Mok-Yeon "sank even deeper". And that's VERY realistic and accurate. I even thought about whether the author might have gone through some difficult events in her her own real life between the first and second seasons.

If it's really difficult and unpleasant to read (especially given the heavy themes the story deals with), maybe I should wait until September? And return to the story when there's light at the end of the tunnel? (I keep telling myself, "Don't read an ongoing story," and I'm still here😒) Or should wait for the ending? It's easier to get through chapters like this when there's an ending. You don't have to wait 10 days to find out if he hurt himself, if he ended up in the hospital, if he got worse? It's a bit of torture, of course. Better to save your nerves!

I probably still hope that they can start FROM THE BEGINNING, precisely from this CHAOS and these PROBLEMS. This became very important to me precisely because of Mok-Yeon's mental problems. Because I have mental problems myself (of a completely different spectrum and intensity than Mok-Yeon's, but still, problems are problems), I feel some connection to the situation. And I know that I will never have a day when I can say, "That's it, I'm a completely healthy person now, these problems will never come back." You know how they say, "Start with yourself" or "You must first learn to love yourself and only then can you truly love another person." This is all true, this is all good. But what if this moment never comes, no matter how much you try, change, grow, and develop? That is... I guess I'd like to have a story where such problems 1) don't magically disappear in 1 day 2) the character doesn't become a completely renewed and mentally healthy (and essentially completely DIFFERENT character) WITHOUT past problems after a time skip of couple of years, because his problems didn't magically disappear; but in his life someone was found who understood the complexity of his problems but still decided to support him on his path to recovery, not out of pity or guilt, but because he want to help those he love, he want him to get better, to recover, and to be happy, even if it's difficult to help. This is my own very unrealistic fairy tale 🧚‍♀️ that I want to read (I understand that most readers don't need it😅).

@KTSupreme Another thing I'm leaning on a bit in this story is that a person diagnosed with, for example, chronic depression at their worst moment (episode), isn't quite their true self, not quite their true character. They become themselves again when the condition subsides, even just a little. So, Mok-Yeon  behavior we see now isn't quite his usual behavior; on the contrary, it's most likely atypical for him, but the illness takes its toll. That is, there is a chance that when he gets better, he will sincerely regret his actions and will evaluate them as wrong, because he will return to a state of "sanity".
But a lot depends on Nanjo's feelings, his POV, his character, his desires and even his strength of spirit. Because, one way or another, Mok-Yeon is too complex for most people, in my opinion.😁
But I agree that when you look at the situation from Nanjo's perspective, you don't believe in any love on Mok-Yeon's part (only obsession and selfishness), and staying as far away from Mok-Yeon as possible and never having anything to do with him seems like the right thing to do. Perhaps the only thing that helps here is that "the heart wants what the heart wants" and that we don't always choose those who are best for us, but simply those we want.

My comment may look like I'm trying to persuade you to read on🤣, but really, take care of yourself and your nerves!😉 We don't know what the story will ultimately be or what the author has in store for us!

@ItsNotOverYet Thank you for the long responses back, and for being so kind and open on a day where there’s been lots of conflict and arguments amongst readers! 🫶🏻 That’s the thing, like I’ve been feeling really off about this over the last two weeks but today’s chapter just pushed me over the edge because I feel like we’re getting nowhere. Nanjo has practically been MIA those whole season and I find it incredibly frustrating that we haven’t seen his POV yet. I think the author made a mistake waiting this long to show us, cause as I said, I feel like it’s really inconsequential now after everything. Truly, if I knew we were getting a third season (and that doesn’t seem to be the case), I’d welcome the slow and hurt-inducing progression of this season more openly. But as it is, we’re already running out of time to see them as anything more than the broken disasters they are now. I understand this can’t be rushed, but I also feel the author has backed herself into a corner with her writing this season. She always knew the ending but I don’t know if she fully anticipated how complicated this arc would get with the limited chapters we have to explore it and still reach that happy conclusion. I’ve always praised her but I am feeling anxious now that maybe this will suffer the same fate many other manhwas have.

It certainly was a surprise! 😅 Which is why it’s frustrating that some people insult others for not understanding what they were reading but in reality, who really could’ve predicted this was gonna happen a few weeks ago, let alone months ago? Ohh yeah, like enjoying and appreciating the complex heavy themes of the season is absolutely fine, but I do think it was a massive risk to take on a story that she already knew had everybody desperate to see them together and without the same anguish of last season. (Now it’s worse hehe… 🫠) She has portrayed a lot of elements in a way that are relatable, and maybe that’s why it’s upsetting to read too cause a lot of us can relate to that feeling. And you’re right that we don’t know what sort of things the author may have experienced herself, hence maybe why this season took on a different tone and feeling. 

I’m definitely taking a massive step back because I’ve reached a point of frustration and sadness over the development. I have too many issues with it right now that won’t be resolved quickly and honestly, how some other readers are speaking about it with ignorance and arrogance towards others is very unpleasant. Ohh I can never marinate a story either haha. 😫 Yeah, see I binge read season 1 all in one go, so maybe that’s effecting my intake and expectations of this season too. But I also did a lot of deep analysis and had my own hopes for this season last year, so I think it’s just hurting me that nothing is panning out the way I wanted it to. 

Yes I don’t want them to just sweep all of this away, when they start again, it has to be built off this foundation but with a healthier, healing, positive outlook! I really respect and admire your last paragraph though, thanks for sharing! 💕 Because I also have a lot of mental health problems, I can fully relate especially to that whole aspect of how you’re supposed to love yourself first and all of that. And I’ve even been in Mok’s position, having such strong feelings for someone and it just doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to. Maybe that’s where my mental block is coming in, Mok’s doing such extreme and unhinged things that I could never imagine doing. It’s just difficult to see someone reduce themselves to this. But your last line, that’s all in want for them too and I truly do hope the author can deliver on it! 

@ItsNotOverYet Yes, I have been speaking through the mist of emotion today haha, so maybe I’ll feel differently on it a little bit tomorrow. I need him to regret this, because I can’t imagine how Nanjo is going to feel when he finds out.  To me it’s the most selfish thing Mokyeon has ever done yet, and yes while his state of mind and such needs to be considered, it’s gonna take a lot for me to forgive this one. The author really needs to start giving us this healing for Mok, this growth. I welcome a time skip to achieve that, but at this point it’s not fair anymore to dangle this misery in front of us every week, when we have to wait 10 days between chapters as it is. 😕 

Nanjo is the key here and I desperately need to see everything you mentioned with him soon. It’s become very frustrating that such an important character is kept in the shadows like this. I understand Mok is the MC but this is supposed to be their love story too. And I feel like the author is threading the line of her readers patience now. Mok is complex, too complex maybe for a manhwa haha. And I don’t think anyone expected his entire character to truly be this deep and heavy. I also think because he did a lot of deplorable things last season, it’s very difficult to separate the “good and the bad” if you will. Because he’s not a bad person at heart but he’s not a good one either, y’know. It’s harder to sympathise for him is what I’m saying, imo. 

Yes, I agree with that! You can’t help who you fall for and all that hehe. And the heart of it is that Mok has never experienced love before. Which is probably why he thinks this is love and doesn’t understand yet that it isn’t, not truly. That’s why they need to start again on a genuine, healthier foundation, made up off the difficulties of their pasts but with the right intentions going forward. And all I hope for, is that Nanjo doesn’t try to get with Mok again out of pity or guilt or his saviour complex. That would irrevocably ruin this story for me. 

No, I really do appreciate your messages because I have struggled today with my feelings about everything, and I deffo need to check out for now on this story. But you’ve given me food for thought and also some hope. 🥹 Please take care of yourself and your nerves too! Hopefully we can exchange more positive messages when the good times come. 🙌🏻  I’ll try to believe in the author the same way I did before!!