Comment by lol on Jay

@lol 1.       She is functionally, physically, and legally her guardian. Subjective familial sentiment is irrelevant when talking about the relationship between a dependent and benefactor. Hence (normal) people’s disgust with, say, Woody Allen. Or the general distaste towards men/adults who go on to sexually pursue children they watched grow up, whether there is a familial relationship or not.

2.       I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain turns of phrase, but it should be obvious that Haegu struggles with her attraction to Mian (although that evaporated pretty much instantly with no real exploration). Wallowing in self-loathing and negative self-talk -- instead of addressing the issue -- is a common method of dysfunctionally “dealing” with guilt (especially of the sexual variety) as it allows one to preserve the ego and self-conception by creating distance between a person and their desires. It does not have to be a conscious or intentional action.

@lol 3. I don’t “make it sound” like anything. But by your own admission, Haegu has indeed raised her in a psychologically unhealthy environment. Her intentions are irrelevant. The objective reality is that Mian was kidnapped by the woman who murdered her parent in front of her, then raised in a household where she is constantly subjected to and surrounded by the aftermath of murder, and is in fact actively encouraged to immerse herself in the infliction of violence. To compound this (and I presume no psychiatric intervention whatsoever to deal with the previous), there is no way for her to repair any kind of normal attachment because she’s enmeshed in a forced deception of the outside world, whilst said murderer (and now guardian) also spends the rest of her childhood saying her job is to grow up and take revenge by killing her. There is no earthly reality where this string of events would not be traumatic and formative, even if Haegu had the most angelic intentions (which she didn’t). I assume for now that Haegu making Mian an instrument of her own self-loathing was out of guilt for inflicting the same suffering she experienced as child, but it was a selfish choice in the end, regardless of the reason. She at least could’ve not killed the man in front of her. She could have placed Mian in state care, failing that. She did not take any of the other kids she rescued, mind you. So if her top priority were actually Mian growing up into a functional, adjusted adult, then the story would never have happened.

@lol 4. She’s giving Banwoo death glares primarily because she is jealous. Let’s be serious. You people getting in your feelings about my disapproval of Haegu’s behaviour seem to think my conception of her character is some long-term schemer and thus jump to pre-emptive defence against this accusation I never made, whilst ironically trying to tell me that I’m the one who can’t read. 

As I recall, the beginning of the series has the teacher make a comment that the kids are becoming of legal age that year (19). Given that Korean age is one year older than international age, that would put Mian somewhere between 18-19 years old. Ergo, five years ago, she was 13, maybe 14. Even if she was 15 years old, there is absolutely no difference between 13 and 15 in the eyes of a normal, functional adult when it comes to perceiving them as viable sexual partners (he**, it’s even hard to distinguish them because they age groups just look like children). Anyone who would disagree with that is either a creep (at best) or a child themselves. You keep bringing up Mian’s burgeoning sexual curiosity being normal, but nowhere did I ever dispute that it is. The only thing I said is that she didn’t have a snowball’s chance of normal emotional (or sexual) development when she’s surrounded by violence, her caretaker insists on facilitating her own murder, and her environment is generally psychologically unhealthy, which is a fact even you yourself agree with.

@lol

Beyond that, it’s normal for children to develop misplaced romantic interest in adult authority figures. It is NOT normal for said interest to trigger commensurate attraction in the adult. And despite Haegu’s verbal denials, that is what the narrative is telling us happened given the juxtaposition of Mian’s idle thoughts and Haegu’s own reflection on how long Mian’s been appearing in her dreams.

I’m frankly uninterested in placing the burden of initiation at Mian’s feet, and it’s notably a deflection that only serves to make the sexual relationship (and s** scenes) more palatable. Regardless of whether Mian “wants it” or not, it is bizarre to develop attraction to a teenager as an adult. It is more bizarre for that attraction to be to a teenager that you yourself raised, and it’s strangest of all to then act on it regardless of later technical legalit -- and I hope you’re not ready to sincerely argue with me otherwise. Whether the audience or the narrative itself wants to acknowledge it, Mian’s been deeply wronged. Hence why I said it would be interesting if Mian actually went through with killing Haegu -- though, again, the chances are nil since for all the story has to say about male systemic and sexual exploitation of women, the oddness of the main relationship so far seems to be more for titillation than anything.